Caitlyn Siehl

At Your Feet

You dream

she fucks the bad love

out of you

Purifies your body at the altar

of hers until the water

isn’t holy anymore

Until you shine like

all forgiven things do

Tell me where do the

nightmares go after

she takes them from you

Where does she put them now

that you’re new and clean

now that you’re full of


See it’s a dream and you

don’t have to worry about it

But if it wasn’t

Her rags would be soaked through

Flooding the streets as she

rings out your clothes

Turning dirt into mud

water to wine

Not quite magic anymore

now that you know

where it all goes

And you’d leave when you

saw it

Take your white clothes

Your sparkling bones with


And you’d wonder why

she didn’t wash your feet

Why you wouldn’t even let her


I don’t want anything from him

except his red apple heart.

Something I can bite into quickly

without making a mess.

If you asked him,

he’d claim he’s never met anyone

kinder, so please don’t say anything

about this.

All I want from him is his love.

The fruit of it. The sweet stuff.

All I want is to keep it inside of me

and then move along, because

I don’t like being touched more

than I liked being looked at.

Is it so terrible that I want

to be bigger than him? That I

don’t want to want more than

I need from a person?

I don’t think that’s bad, but

people keep telling me to

apologize for chewing with my

mouth open, so what am

I supposed to do with a whole

heart in there?

How am I going to eat it quietly?

Just give me the thing with no

hands so that I can go to sleep

without them around my neck.

I don’t want the body of love

like I used to. I don’t want to

be kissed.

Well, maybe I do, but not now.

When I close my eyes, I’m a statue

that he wants to run his tongue over.

When I close my eyes, I cut it off

and keep it.

Published 10-15-17

Caitlyn Siehl is a poet from New Jersey, and the author of two poetry books: “What We Buried” and “Crybaby.” She has also co-edited two poetry anthologies. Her poetry and prose has been featured in Hooligan Magazine, Rising Phoenix Review, Thought Catalog, and Philosophical Idiot. She likes spicy jalapeno chips and dogs.